Welcome to Africa!

August 14, 2011

Anthony and me

I boarded the plane in Houston and set off for Africa. The downside of using points/mileage to book an international flight is that you never get the most direct route. I flew from Houston to Chicago (first class), then Chicago to Frankfurt, Germany (business class). After a 9-hour layover in Frankfurt (yea for first class lounges!), I boarded my final flight to Johannesburg (economy) where I would meet up with my friend, Lesli Bailey, and begin our adventure in Africa.

Thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook, I had reconnected with a high school friend, Anthony ("Scosh" to those of us from Pine Tree) who owns a dive shop in Mozambique. Surprisingly, I have three sets of friends who live in Mozambique--all in different areas. As luck would have it, Anthony was going to be in Johannesburg for a dive expo at the same time Lesli and I had our 24-hour layover. Instead of having to make arrangements at an airport hotel, Anthony offered to be our host for the day and show us around.

August 16

I arrived at the airport in Johannesburg around 9 a.m. As I got off the plane I was surprised by how cold it was. In fact, that's an understatement -- it was freezing! My t-shirt and flip flops were inadequate for countering the frigid air. Strangely enough, I'm not sure they heat their airport because it wasn't any better. I mumbled to myself thinking, "Great. I packed the wrong clothes. I'm screwed." I had one hoodie in my carry on and put that on.

I found Lesli waiting for me as I cleared customs. We headed toward the exit and soon met up with Anthony. First hurdle crossed. Yea! After stuffing our bags into a car not much larger than a smart car, we were on our way. First stop was to Mornet's house in Midrand, north of Joburg. Mornet is Anthony's long-time South African friend. We had our introductions, used his Internet to check in back home, and then Anthony whisked us off to check in to a nearby guest lodge where he had made arrangements for us.

B&B and Brews

Lesli and me -- Brrr!

Anthony said you couldn't find the lodge on a map but the best way to find it was to know that it was across from Teazer's, a very well-known strip club in area -- awesome (not). Had I not seen the lodge online before I left the U.S., I might have been more worried. Fortunately, the Midrand Colonial Guest House did not disappoint. It was a cute little B&B with friendly owners. The only unfortunate thing was that Lesli and I couldn't figure out the stupid heater in the room until the next day right before we left. No time for complaints. We threw on as many layers as we could (which wasn't much), and Anthony had us on the move again.

He took us to a local brewery, Gilroy's, where we had some nice brews and lunch. Once our bellies were full, jet lag hit us in full force. Anthony said we couldn't sleep until bedtime so that we would quickly adjust to the new time (7 hours ahead of CST). Let me just say it took all I had not to fall asleep mid sentence sitting up at the table.

A Braai and Belly Laugh

Finally we left the brewery and had successfully coerced Anthony to let us nap on the way to Mornet's house, who had a braai (BBQ) planned. It didn't take two minutes before we were in a deep slumber. Fortunately for us, not Anthony, there were two wrecks on the way to Mornet's, so we got some extra sleep time.

Once we got to Mornet's we met his girlfriend, Elaine. They had a feast prepared for us -- lamb chops, steak, sausage, Mornet's famous potato bake (similar to cheesy scalloped potatoes), and pap. Pap, or shima, is a traditional African staple similar to sticky grits. It's served with gravy or relish (aka "monkey glands") that usually has tomatoes, carmelized onions, chutney, garlic and spices and is delish.

We ate outside in their cooking hut by the fire. The entire day and evening sure beat hanging out in a hotel for 24 hours. I certainly owe Anthony for his hospitality...then again, he owes me for providing him and my African friends with a good story to make fun of me with.

Mornet overseeing the braai

Anthony had already taught us some South African words such as dankie (thank you), so while Mornet was finishing grilling the meat, Anthony pulled me aside and suggested I be the one to thank him for the meal when we sat down. He explained to me quietly how to do it and introduced me to a new word that I thought meant steaks because it sounds like heifer. So I nodded and confidently thought I knew how to properly thank Mornet, our gracious host, for the steaks. WRONG!

We all settled around the table with our plates full, so I thought the time was right to share with Mornet my new words. "Buya dankie, XXXX," I said. Mornet looked at me with a huge question mark on his face, and Elaine said, "I think she just insulted you." Instead of stopping there and picking up the hint, I tried again repeating myself two more times. Mornet just laughed, and I just sort of sat there puzzled thinking I didn't pronounce the words properly due to my thick Texas accent.

Well, it wasn't until our drive home that Anthony revealed to me that the word he taught me for steak didn't mean steak. It was the most derogatory word in the South African language and told me to never say it again. My jaw dropped and my eyes popped open as I looked at Anthony. I was so embarrassed! Anthony just laughed and said Mornet knew only Anthony could have taught me such a word. But still! First night in Africa and I gave our chef and host the biggest insult ever. Not a good start...little did I know it wouldn't be the only time I got some words wrong on my trip...

Next post: Pemba, Mozambique